RIP GOP

A long-lost friend at UPI just shot us this surprising release:

GOP To Reorganize 

By Geoff Talbot

Des Moines, Iowa. (April 1, 2021) -- The Republican National Committee at its annual meeting in Des Moines has unexpectedly announced a major overhaul of the party and a re-evaluation of its direction and goals. 

According to Executive Secretary Nikki Dumond the decision to reconfigure the party was made by the executive committee, who saw the need to return the party to its historical ideology. They envision something more akin to the "compassionate conservatism" propounded by former President George W. Bush than to the bluster of former President Donald Trump.

The executive decision was announced without fanfare late in the night of March 31 at the end of the closing plenary session of the meeting. It was first met with stunned silence. Then, as the executive committee members left the stage, the roomful of delegates exploded in shouted questions. A bit of quiet applause was noted, but quickly silenced.

The mood in the room following the announcement was mostly angry and confused. A group appearing to be the Trump faction were gathered in a corner and were heard plotting violent action against the executive committee. Many other delegates seemed introspective. A few spoke hopefully of the possibility of the party gaining political ground with the change in philosophy.

In a brief interview granted to this reporter by RNC President Vonna McDonald, the leader of the party spoke bluntly. "We can't call ourselves the Grand Old Party anymore," she admitted. "There's nothing grand about denying the vote to American citizens of any color or race. Look at the nonsense that idiot Brian Kemp is pulling off in Georgia. That's just bull----. It's going to set the party back twenty years."

Asked about Donald Trump's future with the party, McDonald said, "He has none. The position of the Republican Party is that we formally renounce Donald Trump and all his lies and his empty promises. Some of our members may have trouble with that. They'll just have to come around."

This announcement is just the latest in a series of political bombshells that have rocked America in the past year. It remains to be seen how the Biden administration and Congressional Republican leadership will respond to it.

 

--- Diogenes, April Fool's Day, 2021