Enumerating the Crimes of Donald Trump:

Whoever incites, sets on foot, assists, or engages in any rebellion or insurrection against the authority of the United States or the laws thereof, or gives aid or comfort thereto, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than ten years, or both; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States. 18 U.S. Code, Section 2383

U.S. Constitution

U.S. Constitution
The bedrock of the United States of America

16 July 2020

Excuses, excuses

Reasons not to wear a mask during the COVID-19 pandemic:
  1. Trump says I don't have to.                  Trump lies. If he says you don't, it means you do.
  2. It's uncomfortable.                                Tell me that when you're intubated so you can breathe.
  3. My breath smells bad.                          Get a breath mint.
  4. My emphysema makes it hard to breathe.     You're high risk. Go home.
  5. The governor says I don't have to.       The governor is an idiot.
  6. I can't drink with it on.                         Use a straw.
  7. I don't like the way I look.                    Tell me that when you're lying in your casket.
  8. None of my friends do.                          You know what your mother would say, don't you?
  9. No one can make me.                           They can if you're in one of the states requiring it.*
  10. My asthma makes it feel stuffy.            See answer #4.
  11. I feel claustrophobic.                            Inhale deeply before putting it on; exhale slowly.
  12. I'm healthy.                                            Look up the definition of "asymptomatic."
  13. I can't smoke with it on.                       You can't smoke inside anyway, numbnuts.
  14. I can't tie it behind my head.                 Get one that goes around your ears.
  15. It hurts behind my ears.                         Give it time; you'll get calluses.
  16. The pandemic is a hoax.                        Shall I call you an ambulance now?
  17. I social distance; don't need one.           Get the hell away from me!
  18. Sean Hannity says I don't need one.      See answer #5.
  19. I cough and sneeze a lot from allergies.  All the better to be wearing one.
  20. It's against my religion.                          I hope you're praying a lot.    
 ---Diogenes, 7/16/2020

* California, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Nevada, New York, New Jersey, New Mexico, North Carolina, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Virginia, Washington and West Virginia.

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